Little People, Big Emotions: Why Emotional Regulation Matters
Close your eyes and imagine handing a toddler a scoop of pink ice cream when they asked for blue ice cream. What do you think their reaction would be?
Now, think of this same scenario with a 7-year-old. How do you think they would respond?
Now, imagine this scenario with a 15-year-old. What would you expect to happen?
Lastly, envision handing an adult a scoop of pink ice cream when they asked for blue ice cream. How might they respond?
We know it's acceptable to feel every emotion, and as adults, we are able to match our reactions to the situation. Children aren't born with emotional regulation skills, so they need guidance and practice as they grow.
What is emotional regulation?
Emotional regulation, also known as self-regulation, is the ability to monitor and modulate one’s emotions, as well as how you express them. This includes handling frustration, resisting explosive reactions to upsetting stimuli, and adapting to new challenges. Self-regulation begins to develop in the toddler years and continues to develop into adulthood. As children grow, they learn emotional regulation through relationships, everyday experiences, and consistent support from caring adults.
Why is emotional regulation important?
Supports learning at school
Builds social acceptance
Assists with making and maintaining friendships
Fosters independence
Helps manage frustration
Develops problem-solving skills
What can I do as a parent to help my child regulate his or her emotions?
Practice positive affirmations together
Validate feelings
Practice identifying and expressing emotions
Model feelings and problem solving
Incorporate books about emotions into your daily routine
Helping children communicate their feelings is an important part of emotional regulation. Reading together and talking about emotions can help children build the vocabulary they need to express themselves. Learn more about building communication skills in our related article, From First Words to Big Ideas.
Book Recommendations on Emotional Regulation
The Color Monster - Anna Llenas
Some Days I Flip My Lid - Kellie Bailey
What Should Danny Do? - Adir Levy
My Mouth is a Volcano - Julia Cook
Bubble Gum Brain - Julia Cook
Little Monkey Calms Down - Michael Dahl
Breathe Like a Bear - Kira Willey
When should you seek help?
Consider contacting a professional if your child is withdrawn, has difficulty interacting with others, demonstrates self-harm or harm to others, is difficult to discipline due to challenging behaviors, has frequent tantrums, or appears to lack social skills that other children of the same age have.
If your child struggles with managing emotions, transitions, or behavior, occupational therapy may help. KTL Therapy's occupational therapists use individualized, play-based therapy to assist children in developing emotional regulation and self-regulation skills while building confidence for everyday life. Contact us today to learn how we can support your child and family.